Surprise... Diabetes doesnt care what I think!!! It took me a full year to accept this to be true, every high and every low, brought me to my knee's asking... What did I do? What can I do different? It was all my fault... Guilt ruled my day!!!
This is why the DOC is soooooo very important. If I wasn't able to see how diabetes affects other families, or have the ability to reach out to other parents in the DOC, I would be lost, heavily medicated, and probably in a padded room.
So this leads me to the past 2 weeks. We started with night time highs, no matter how much insulin we gave it didnt bring her down!!! Grrrr.... We made adjustments, not crazy adjustments, just one setting up. Then of course after a week of fighting the night time highs, and no sleep,( not that I do much of that anyways since diabetes entered the picture) she begins dropping at night, 6 glucose tablets a night... OK the growth spurt or whatever game diabetes was playing is over, so we bring her settings back down to where they were, now remember this is just ONE SETTING... and now we are back to highs!!!! UGH!!!! Where is the middle ground?!?!? I'm trying really hard to not let this rule me, and do what I can and just realize that this is the nature of the disease. But this is stressful. Of course before this we had a month of beautiful perfect #s, and now that it is almost time for our Endo appt. to get the that wonderful A1C checked, diabetes is up to its old tricks.
When I think of diabetes I picture this akward little creature creeping around the corner, laughing at me through every high and low, knowing that he has done his job successfully, and making me feel inadequate is just a bonus for him. And since diabetes doesnt sleep, it doesnt think that I should either!!!
Well we are off for a site change, new bottle of insluin, and alot of praying!!!
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